In part two of our conversation with artist and performer, Hayley Paterson, we’re turning our attention to body image and focusing on some of the critical moments that have impacted Hayley’s perception of herself – which includes her participation at Brighton Pride several years back. We’re also covering attitudes towards nudity, the importance of social nudity events, Hayley’s body art, the role of nudity within her artwork, and more!
As part of our write-up, we’re also proud to present a further selection of images from our photoshoot with Hayley, which were captured candidly throughout our conversation in our unique Brighton studio space. Further images, along with the first half of our interview, can be found by clicking here.
Britain Uncovered: It’s been so fantastic hearing about your career as an artist and all you’ve accomplished thus far Hayley, and we’re very much looking forward to hearing all about your thoughts and attitudes towards body image issues likewise.
We were thrilled that you reached out to volunteer for a shoot with Britain Uncovered, and feel incredibly honoured that you wanted to be involved – but what would you say you were hoping to get out of the experience, and how did you feel about the nudity element of the day heading into our collaboration? Was there an element of pushing your boundaries or challenging yourself in some way?
Hayley: In a word? Liberation. The prospect of a nude photoshoot outside the scope of my artistic practice was something I did feel I really wanted to do for myself. I knew it would be a challenge and the build-up to the shoot was filled with nervous energy, but once I got here and did it, it felt so easy and natural. A step forward for me in terms of nurturing my relationship with my body, as well as a step outside of my comfort zone.
BU: How body confident were you growing up, and how comfortable are you feeling in your own skin today?
Hayley: I wasn’t in the slightest, and that’s why the place I’m in now in regard to self-expression in this way is so vital to me. I had absolutely no confidence, I didn’t feel right in my own skin. I grew up frustrated and so shy that I was mute half the time. I felt powerless in my body.
However, now I’m in a place where I feel an immense amount of love for myself. I have accepted my body as a beautiful vessel for my soul. I feel empowered deeply in my feminine energy, and I am blessed to have a body that allows me to move, connect with people, make art and experience life through.
There are obviously elements of my body I am working on, like correcting my posture and getting stronger, but even so, I am able to look at my body in the mirror and go, ‘Wow, I’m so lucky and it’s enough just as it is’. It’s taken me my whole life to get to that point, so it’s not something I ever want to take for granted.
BU: Is this your first ever photoshoot?
Hayley: No, I model fairly often but it’s my first nude.
BU: Although we’re only half-way through our shoot, how are you finding the experience thus far? After undressing at the beginning of the evening you mentioned that you felt “giddy”, but is the experience similar to what you were anticipating ahead of the day? And although it may be a little early to judge, would you say participating in such a project is impacting your body confidence in any way?
Hayley: Now that I’m here, it is impacting my body confidence. For me, my body is the most natural thing in the world, and I feel so comfortable naked. I’m constantly walking around naked. I’m the naked neighbour that everyone sees!
I just feel like it’s a body. I’m always championing shedding those layers away. At my core, it’s me. This is me, this is what I’ve got, and I love it and I’m happy it’s my home. And I would love to just walk around naked. I wish clothes weren’t a legal obligation. And I think maybe that’s my mentality.
There are definitely influences – I had a lot of strong women that were very ‘free love’ oriented in my life. My great gran, for example, was just a mad old lady. She was a jazz singer, and she was so flamboyant and championed femininity for me, and I think as a woman, I know I’m beautiful and I’m really happy that I feel that way in myself. But I feel like in society and with the patriarchy, influences and experiences I’ve had, it’s difficult not to take too much of that on and oversexualise myself.
And I think when I’m naked, I don’t feel like I’m oversexualised. I feel like clothes can sometimes be a weapon for that and influence how you feel sexy. But for me, I feel so authentic when I’m naked. And I’m not objectifying myself. I’m just being myself. And I think the way my relationship to clothes is as well, they’re a form of self-expression and they’re an extension of my personality, and I put them on in the same way I tell myself what to think each day. So when you strip all of that back, that’s where I feel most comfortable.
BU: Do you feel as though participation in projects like this – in addition to your Primal project that we touched upon in part one of our interview – might inspire you to dabble in social nudity events away from your work, whether it be visiting nude beaches or modelling for life drawing classes, for instance?
Hayley: I have a contact for the life drawing – my good friend Rosie – and I was going to reach out. I thought the experience of this shoot would be a testament to whether or not it would be something I would feel comfortable with. And I think given how I feel right now, I think it would be a really fun thing to do. Also, and I know I’ve shelved the performance painting, but I’m very much inspired to try to do some live performances, with an audience.
Carolee Schneemann is one of my biggest inspirations. She was a performance artist based in the 1970s, and she never got any big recognition until after she died. She had a show in 2021 at the Barbican, and it was just ground-breaking. But this was a woman who just went and did whatever she wanted, and she was based in painting and it evolved from there. Her inspiration was stolen by men, and she was disregarded in the artistic community, but she still made the most profound art I’ve ever seen in my life. She did a live performance once where she pulled a scroll from her vagina and read it aloud. It was a live poem.
I thought, “You are the coolest woman ever.” And it was that first instance of that abjectness of just raw femininity. I thought it was so real. It was the most powerful thing I’d seen in a really long time, and the fact that it was so controversial – it was actually stopped. The whole performance was interrupted. I think it was just the fact that it was covered in blood and it was that idea of just birthing art from the womb, I think, that men did not like.
BU: Do you feel that nudity could become a regular part of your art practice, if it’s something you enjoy or feel adds value to your work?
Hayley: I would think so. I’m constantly looking for things to integrate, and it’s really fun to find all of these different links – because life inspires the art, right? I think I’ve always known I would move this way, but I’m still a little bit cautious of making sure the intentional nudity does make sense and adds value, and I didn’t know what to expect initially.
I love painting naked, it just feels right. But it’s that emergence of discovery that I really love. I’m constantly finding out new things about myself through what I’m inspired to make in my art.
BU: What do you make of social attitudes towards nudity in the UK in general? Are we behind the curve a little, compared to other parts of the world?
Hayley: Yes, I think so.
BU: Do you feel as though social nudity, and experiences like today, can help change this over time?
Hayley: Definitely! I think that’s why I was so drawn to this collaboration. Because I am very much someone who wants to champion that. I grew up in a conservative area, and I don’t remember any environments as a child where nudity was considered anything short of taboo.
I can remember one of my school friends going to a nude colony for a holiday with her friend, and I can remember being so surprised by that. “Wow! Like, how could you be naked in front of other people”? And I was maybe 12 at the time, and that was the first time I can really recall being introduced to the idea that nudity’s not a big deal. They’re just bodies. They’re just people on holiday.
BU: It’s always so interesting to hear about how people’s perceptions and attitudes towards the body are shaped, and it does feel as though experiences at a young age can impact our perspectives in the longer-term. But in past generations, nudity and sexuality were so intrinsically linked, and as you alluded to, the thought of someone without clothing might be considered taboo or scandalous in some way – because it was always presented by the media as provocative or a big deal.
Hayley: I think that then impacts your own perception of yourself, and your relationship to nudity. And I think at this point in my life, I’ve made a lot of friends with people from different countries, who grew up in different ways, and I feel like they are way more liberal. It’s like a flower blossoming. All of these layers are shed, and it’s not the way that we view it. There is that British attitude to turn your nose slightly, or be avoidant of the conversation.
BU: Attitudes towards nudity can still be very immature at times, and – even worse – if someone’s naked, people seem to view this as an invitation to make sexual or inappropriate comments. People still don’t seem to be blasé about the sight of the body sans clothing.
Hayley: That’s the thing. It’s the sense that whenever they’re confronted with nudity, instead of just sitting with the sensation or the experience, or whatever comes up with them, they’re kind of triggered to comment in a way that’s reactive. It’s not a considered, “Oh, okay, you’re naked”. It’s very often apparent that some people do feel it’s an invitation, or even free access to someone’s body. Which is repulsive. It becomes a spectacle, and I don’t think people in this country always get that; and it isn’t a normal reaction to flesh.
BU: Whereas at many spas and saunas in mainland Europe, people are communally naked in a completely desexualised environment. They’re able to draw a line between nakedness that’s sexual, and nakedness that’s functional.
Hayley: Yes totally, that’s the thing, and I think the European aspects of culture, and these environments – we just don’t have those here. I go to the sauna with my friends every week, and never see anyone naked in there. We have no environments in this country that really facilitate that, where it’s not respectable.
BU: And frustratingly, in places where nudity is accepted across Britain, they can end up becoming sexualised quite quickly.
Hayley: Yes. When my friend wanted to go to a nudist beach and sunbathe topless – not even naked, just topless – I said, “Yes, I’ll do that with you, that will be so empowering, oh my god.” And her ex-boyfriend said, “No, no way, there’s too many creepy men”. And I thought, “Okay, there will be, there are anyway, but why let that stop you doing what you want to do?
BU: What are your thoughts on the body confidence and body positivity movements in general? Have they helped you in any way, and would you consider them a force for good by and large? Or can they also bring about forced positivity that ends up being counter-productive, to an extent?
Hayley: For me, my experience with hearing about them and reading about them has been instances where women have maybe had breast cancer or where their body’s drastically been through some sort of change that’s been traumatic for them – and they’re rediscovering or redefining their relationship with their body. I think in that way, it’s a beautiful thing.
But the whole concept is born from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, and I think the whole thing around nudity is finding your comfort zone with it. You have to be comfortable being yourself, and not everyone is, but that’s the goal, right?
The first time I was ever nude in an environment that wasn’t sexual was skinny-dipping at my first Brighton Pride. And I think being surrounded by a community of queer people... there’s just something about the community that makes you so able to celebrate being yourself. And feeling completely encompassed by love in every way that you show up.
It was the push I needed to completely liberate myself, which is something I’ve always wanted to do. I was such a shy kid. I was very bad with socialising and connecting with people, and I felt like I made my life super small because I just didn’t have the confidence to live, and I think that’s why I’m so very intentional with how I live now.
I now have that confidence in myself, and I’ve gone through that self-acceptance – it’s something that’s so married with nudity.
BU: I think this is why we’ve always recommend these types of social nudity experiences to people – because although they may seem a little terrifying at first, so many people we’ve interviewed have reported feeling at ease after a matter of minutes. Once you’ve taken the plunge, it really isn’t the big deal a lot of people expect it to be.
Hayley: So true. You do worry a bit though, but when you finally break that boundary that limits you, it’s like a switch that just flicks – and then you realise you’re suddenly on the other side of the fear. There’s then nothing short of possibilities, and everything is available to you suddenly.
From my viewpoint, when you have to go through life and you’re not comfortable with yourself, you care a lot more about what others think of you. Whereas if you’re super at home in your own body, you take that in your stride. So, it’s those instances where I’ve been in positions where I’ve had to present or perform in front of people, or at interviews, or just when talking about something controversial, and because I know, I have that belief in myself, and I know where I’m coming from. That’s the intention behind it. I don’t really care. It’s the self validation rather than seeking it from other people. That’s the switch that clicked.
BU: Would you say the skinny dip at Brighton Pride was quite a defining moment in terms of your body confidence and/or relationship with your body?
Hayley: It was. I was 18 at that Brighton Pride, and it was the first time that I felt like I’d met myself fully, in terms of my potential for growth. And who I could really be when I released all of those thoughts and limiting self-beliefs about myself. It was a spark of what the future could be like, which was awesome actually. You’ve just got to keep doing wild things and live.
I just remember this little queer family I’d made for the whole weekend, just cheering me on, and I thought, “My god, this is what life’s about. And this is just the beginning.” It’s about finding those people you connect with, that really facilitate and just celebrate you doing things, while offering acceptance, love and support.
BU: In addition to being an artist yourself, it’s evident how much of a fan you are of body art likewise – so we’d love to hear about the inspirations and motivations behind your passion for tattoos.
Hayley: I’m really into symbology, if you couldn’t tell! I don’t know, but with some of them I feel more like myself when I get them. The face tattoo is something I’ve always wanted, and it’s felt very much like me, so now that I’ve got it, it doesn’t seem like an addition. I just feel like I’ve unearthed myself. It’s that whole attitude towards, ‘This is my vessel, and I get to personalise it”.
Some of them have got really deep meanings. Obviously, ‘the divine feminine’ is a running theme through it, as is the spiritual side of it. But I had a breast cancer scare, where two lumps were found and I wanted a symbol of protection tattooed on me after that, which I have all the time now. And I think it just helps me carry myself in a way that makes me feel like they add something to my life experiences.
They do have a downside though, because I feel like I’m way more sexualised because of the tattoos. I think people assume you must be a certain way, or that you must be pretty kinky, or this sort of stuff. They just see it as a conversation starter. Obviously my neck one – so many people every single day will say, “What does that mean? That must have hurt.” There’s the whole connotation of, “Oh, you must take some pain then”, and it just becomes a way to completely objectify me. It’s frustrating, to say the least.
BU: Is the butterfly tattoo on your face relatively new?
Hayley: Yes, I got it in July.
BU: It’s actually very subtle though, and I hadn’t actually noticed until you’d mentioned!
Hayley: That’s exactly why I got it, because I wanted to contradict that whole attitude of, “Oh, that’s on your face for life, that’s going to ruin your opportunities.”
I love butterflies – they’re a little spiritual symbol that I see constantly in really interesting moments of life. If there’s something significant that happens, I’ll usually do see a little butterfly, and it’s like my relationship to the universe; and it feels like I’m being guided down the right path. And that’s what they symbolise for me. It feels like an emergence, that whole process of being a butterfly – I can really resonate with that.
BU: And this ties in really nicely with your experience at Pride and being accepted by that community, and that you found yourself coming out the other side of the event a different person. I think that’s a really heart-warming story.
Hayley: Definitely.
BU: As we bring our evening to a close, how would you reflect on today’s photoshoot experience, and what were some of the elements you most enjoyed? Was it in any way challenging, or were you at ease from the get-go?
Hayley: It’s something I’ve really enjoyed doing and now I’m wondering why it took me so long to do something like this! Right from the start, it has been a really positive, relaxed and intellectually stimulating experience and something I feel grateful to be involved in. So, thank you for that. The massive bathtub was a highlight for sure!
BU: Lastly, as we look back on the images we’ve created tonight, is there one specific photo from our shoot that you particularly like, or feel best represents you as a person or artist?
Hayley: I mean, the environment and setting is rather niche, so I don’t feel as though the images are indicative of me as an artist, but there have been some lovely candid photos taken during this interview and I think my passion and whimsy has come across in a few. I love the mirror shots and the ones where it’s clear I’m thinking deeply about the discussion or caught slightly off guard.
It’s been really lovely to see myself in that lens discussing such an important topic for me, stripped of everything we usually hide behind. Thank you Britain Uncovered!
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Hayley Paterson is an artist currently studying at the University of Brighton. To see more of Hayley's artwork and to enquire about commissions, follow the artist on Instagram at her @divinebodhiart page.
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